Of Real Cheese and Metaphorical Cheese
by connolise
Summary: In which Derek uses pick-up lines to show his affection. Derek/Stiles


_**Of Real Cheese and Metaphorical Cheese**_

this is the horridest of the most horrid, yup

* * *

"You should show it if you don't want to tell him, then." Peter says and immediately regrets when Derek turns to him as though everything just suddenly makes sense.

"Pick-up lines. Yes, that's the way." Boyd tells him and smiles, and only Peter understands the slyness in the boy's voice. However, when their eyes meet, they know that this is truly the way.

They hide a smirk as Derek opens Google.

* * *

"Do you have a map?" Derek asks Stiles right after the boy lands on the ground from his Jeep. He may have tripped in surprise has Derek not been holding his hands and crouching in front of him.

"Why do you need a map?" Stiles asks, raising an eyebrow and not noticing Scott bite on his own nails from where he parks his bike. "Anyway, map of where?"

"Because I'm lost in your eyes." Derek adds.

_Oh_, Stiles blinks. _OH_. He claps his hands in understanding.

Scott drags Stiles away before it can go on. As Stiles' best friend, it has become obvious to him that Stiles is planning to play along with the Alpha. Really, his face is basically saying, "I'm gonna tap that," and Scott will not put it past him to do exactly that.

"The sad thing is, I probably know more pick-up lines than Derek will ever do," Stiles says as they trot down the corridors.

Scott agrees, grimly feeling sorry for Derek more than ever.

* * *

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Derek asks, once again holding Stiles' not-outstretched hand. Isaac drops plastic cups on the ground and gapes at them, the clatters seemingly not a bother to the two people in attention.

"Oh, yes. Very." Stiles grins, forcing his eyelashes to flutter and Scott groans. "I fell on my head and got a concussion. It still stings sometimes. Maybe a little kiss would help?"

Stiles is as surprised as the others are when Derek scowls and gets up and presses a light kiss on his forehead. Boyd looks composed, but Peter, who guffaws and chokes on his drink, knows better.

"His lips feel good," Stiles tells Scott on their way back.

Scott really doesn't need to know that. He doesn't say anything about Derek's eager, and quite rare, drumming heartbeats from afar either.

* * *

"You almost installed a virus on my laptop!" Peter shrieks as he presses on the keyboard.

"I intended to," Derek growls, but a tiny part of him has the grace to look ashamed.

"Please don't lie," Peter says, looking at him in pity.

Boyd holds in the urge to do the same, but Derek seems to have detected his split-second head-shaking and glares at him, anyway.

"He looks up those cheesy pick-up lines from the internet?" Erica sounds amused. She shakes her head and dismisses Derek's stabbing glare. "Honey, you can do better."

* * *

"Is your dad an art thief? Because you're a masterpiece."

Stiles looks at Derek and is all, 'my dad is the damn Sheriff.'

Scott decides that he wants out from this mess.

* * *

It doesn't last longer than twelve hours, because Stiles has whined for him over the phone to come and comfort him.

"Why?" Scott asks tiredly from his bed.

"I'm having a gay crisis," Stiles hisses and Scott hangs up.

* * *

"No, really," Stiles flails at Scott, who is probably the best of the best of friends anyone can ever have. He rides over to Stiles' house simply because he feels obliged to help the boy overcome his sexual identity inquisition.

"You like Derek," Scott states.

"In a way," Stiles shrugs, "I think he's hot."

That's when Derek decides to appear by the windowsill and say, "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

Stiles kicks him off the window and mutters, "More like jump up again."

Scott is out for real this time.

* * *

Apparently he still can't get away, even when it doesn't involve either Stiles or Derek and even both of them together.

"Do you know what he told Stiles this morning?" Isaac asks him in the chemistry class. "'If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.' No one brightens Derek's day. That's just so wrong."

They get a detention for making noises behind their throats.

* * *

"Is that strawberry?" Derek looks disgusted, gesturing to the chewing sounds Stiles makes from the driver's seat of his Jeep.

Stiles grins and leans over, placing a kiss on Derek's (Stiles-claims-to-be-soft) lips. "Because I taste like one?" He wiggles his eyebrows in an attempt to be seductive.

Derek touches his own lips and caresses them in surprise, but a smile makes its way onto his face and he pulls Stiles closer, lips smacking and tongues entering. "No, because _I_ taste like one," he purrs when they part for a second.

Scott is happy that Stiles at least gets over his gay crisis and Derek may stop with his spouting cheesy words with a sour face. He just hopes the two would notice that he is still in the backseat before going on a full throttled making out. When Derek's hand goes inside Stiles' shirt and Stiles bites Derek's neck, Scott sighs.

"Fuck it," he thinks, texting Allison for help.


End file.
